you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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