i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
