Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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