I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
