just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
