two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
