i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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