one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
