I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
