Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize