just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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