If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
