first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
