What did we do last night that was yellow?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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