4 words: hood of his car
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
