Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
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