how can u be prego again
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Your cock deserves a montage
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize