Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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