"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
