He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
