I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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