You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
