yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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