People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
