She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
