What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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