Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
