I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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