Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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