just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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