I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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