I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
