My nipple is on Facebook.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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