the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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