She is in my trunk
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
