Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
