Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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