Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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