I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize