She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
