yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
