I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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