Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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