Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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