super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize