omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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