The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
