Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
