White coat. Heels.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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