Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
