What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
