I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
