I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Slut skills are useful in every country.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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