I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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