She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
