Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize