i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
