do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
