i barfeds in our rink
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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