My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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