Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
