They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
