So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
