im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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