Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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